Good things...

are like a mirage...

they stare back at you
as you near them.

Sometimes,
they're like elephant traps
that exploit your stupidity
and watch as you fall into a bottomless pit.

Thank god for death,
there's hope for some escape!

Deep!!

...like a box of vegetables in a big truck from the countryside
and some quicksand in the muddy surrounds of paddy fields

...like water through small earthen pots in good 'ol kitchens
and chemical solutions in those longish test tubes in school labs

....like the ear hole
and the oesophagus

....like the shooting pain in the head during a migrane
and the pull of the eyes, half asleep, half dead

Its all deep,
felt deep
...like the heaviness an empty heart
and the emptyness of a heavy heart!

Why...

...do sharks attack you from the back?

and when they do that
they pierce your hindside through their claw like teeth
in a manner that allows you to feel them
but not see them.

But thats not entirely the problem.

What you can see before you're eyes is the problem.
What you perceive you can see accentuates the problem.

And the fact that its all blurring now that you're under attack is the killing problem.
And before you know all this,
you realise, you're -
d
-y
--i
---n
----g
..........
- dead!

In your memories....

there is a light spot of bother...

I see you you see me
I soak you you soak me
You breathe the air that I do, from where I do,
You creep into the stars of the sky and drift away to someplace you know or want to know.

I hear you say what you said when you were here to hear me
I clean up your thinking and roll down a clean napkin on the floor of your head
I sweep it gently, neatly and carefully -
before I sweep myself away, gently.

In the many many of your memories,
I spot bother beyond bother!

Enough!

I think I've had
enough
of the good
and the not so good.

whatever,
the dancing phase doesnt end,
however,
starry signs might have some meaning.

I don need to know any meaning.
I've had enough of it in the lack of it!

Pangs I

Wrench
in the sponge ball of pain
like one of those little invisible concentric hexagonal entities
inside a beehive's honey secreting chambers....

You're too full to squeeze in,
You're just empty if u sqeeze out!

Crushed!

Screaming un-vitality perches unplanned on the fence of my imagination
like a little senile bird that has got to release its goosey insecurity into its fragile environs.

I sit down with moist eyes
n resort to my only recourse to this all pervasive ever existant issue -
living on a prayer!

SleepResistant!

Dig deep in the debris,
There's kith, there's kin, there's company,

One level down,
Ah! those lovely little intelligent readings,

Next down,
Its life's lessons that loom large in the name of experience,

High tide like memories

Turbulent conversations

Abandoned love

Ongoing love

Unyielding cries

Forgotten doom

Sorrow, grief and other synonyms

Clawless fingers clenching onto nothingness

Piece

Peace

Melancholy.....sigh!

Unexpected enemies!

I think -

This time when there is dialogue,

I'm gonna make it clear to life's meandering ways that it cant spill over its boundaries and make a mess of the vegetation that grows so peacefully.

I think -

Now is the time to clarify my stance,

That I choose not to remain a mute spectator like the sand on the beach loosened by the continuous onslaught.

I think -

Its either this way or that now,

I'm either the sea or the land

I'm suspended in air or sunk in the mine

I'm heads or tails

I'm scalp or toe

I'm jumping in the realms of joy or trodding on the razor's edge weeping in pain.

And in my thought,

I'm enveloped by that one thread of life that swirls like a whilpool with velocity that beats the head heart and everything in between and that one link disrupts my thinking -

Hope plays spoilsport!

When hope knocks, prudence flies out of the open window.

Taking Stock - II!

Fear.
Thats been a key constituent of my life. And despite it being that way, I've never felt it touch me as much as it has in the last 2 months.
Its not the fact that I've always been in control of my life thats responsible for this state of mind. Neither is it the perfect coherrence of whats happening in my professional life.
No. Its a conflict.
Its a dependency issue. Its a nasty dependency issue.
And its something that I'm unable to do anything about.
Its a situation that could make your life irreparably messy and/or unacceptably miserable. Its a feeling of complete surrender to an external force which in your heart of hearts may not evoke the kind of trust that you expect something like that to. Its a bad feeling.

The stars that blink
The moon that glitters
The thick black sky that protects you in silence
Suddenly turn mystically against you.

"No", they say, "we think this is wrong".
"We adore you, love you, protect you and we need nothing from you
except your happiness".
Now heavens, I urge you to answer,
What fault of mine is it if you determined my life's unbending curves on the night of my birth?

Where perceptions determine errors,
Where time decides destiny,
Where wrong is just the other side of right,
My soul's heavy, my head spins and my heart bleeds!!!

Tides

Tides envelope me
even though i walk back
struggle and fight them

They manage to get me where I fear them the most!

Empty-ness!

Sometimes....one finds himself/herself in a different world altogether!
There are times when we find several reasons to crib and sulk and there are times when we just cannot stop smiling with joy. Its almost like its in the air that we breathe - we breathe life in different ways notwithstanding all the dust/aberrations around.
But then jus like u made a choice, sometimes life breathes out - breathes u out - so hard that ur completely out of breath. Its almost a feeling of sheer helplessness - you want it, you know you cant endure it, you cant let go, you cant hold on, you cant move around, you cant give up - your choices just do not remain choices.
Your choices become those catch 22 decisions, the veracity of which u simply cannot test.....
but
U know one thing for sure - whatever you do - however you reason out - your decision is gonna leave you unhappy for the rest of your life!!