Confessions of a Shared Auto-an !

First things first, shared autos are not a Bangalore peculiarity. They're evident only in certain places within Bangalore and Sanjaynagar happens to be one of them.The stretch joining Ganganagar and Nagashetty Halli is where shared autos are rampant, esp. during the peak hours.
Having been a shared auto-an for nearly a year now, lemme take you through what these exactly are.
Visualise:
a. A small auto (the ancient ones that are relatively higher from the ground when compared to the newer ones) without a meter
b. Rugged seats with an unparalleled immunity from the multitudes of behinds they've seen and endured
c. A driver/rider (dono which would be applicable) with a shrill voice shouting out the name of the final destination
- these pretty much constitute a shared auto when it arrives!
But hang on, the fun is yet to begin. Add to this auto 4-5 women at the back and 2 men sharing the seat with the driver. This is really stiff competition to any other 7 seater. Each of the 6 passengers pays the driver/rider 5 bucks for their journey which ensures that the latter makes 30 bucks each way.

Over the last year I've adorned many a role being a shared auto-an. A few of them are elucidated below:
1. Foster child- Yes, my friend, u got me right. In certain shared auto journeys, I've sat on elderly women' laps! And one of them even said "Please be comfortable, you're like my daughter!" and I, with a sheepish smile, had succumbed to the generous offer!
2. Hi-decibel Ranting Telephoner - I know there's no such word but I'm sure nobody knows that the situation I'm gonna describe exists either. The shared auto doesnt run on the fuel we lesser mortals use. Instead, it digests something known as kerosene. So the sound of the vehicle is so blaring and cacophonous that to get my point across to a conversationee over telephone I need to do a Monica Seles smash (For the uninitiated thats an unforgettable aaaththeyyyyyyyy ).
3. The Eternal Stare-ee - This role flows from the point above. So wot else can you expect when you're shouting your lungs out over the telephone - a funny stare, an annoyed stare, a what-the-heck stare and many more.
4. The Greedy Seat Holder - Err, I have rushed to get the seat on the extreme right so as to avoide having to "adjust" with the WWF wrestler types. Something I'm not to happy to write here - The fact that I've sometimes occupied more seat than I required (Note - the use of "seat" as an uncount noun! Wow!) and acted as if I was very uncomfortable....ya I know its being mean but my friend, ye sab karna padta hai, trust me..
5. The Hump Ducker - Now for some truly valuable gyan. If you ever happen to sit (????) in a shared auto, beware of all humps coz your left and right brains are at serious risk. Duck (the timing comes only with experience!) to save your err skin or hair or wotever!
6. The Half-behind Suspended Adjuster - Ahem! No comments on this!

Now this shared auto experience will last only another month and I'm teary-eyed again! (Ayyoooo!!)